Song: Bath Room
by: the GazettE

Ahh...that feeling is back again. For some unknown reason.
The feeling of "I am feeling depressed but I don't know why".

It's not good i tell you. This is not my normal "emo mood" where some serious head-banging will make me feel better. Or listen to some emo songs to cry and i'll feel better after that.
I had this feeling 2 weeks earlier but sometime later i managed to kick this feeling off.

Now it's back again.
random: OO and how nice! I put my mp3 player on shuffle and it plays an emo song (12012's want, want, want) now

It seems like everyone's having a much better life than me. Maybe what i'm feeling is a sense of helplessness. Probably what i want is just confirmation of my own future - and this is what no one can ever help me with. What i strongly wish for might never come true but i don't want to live my life regretting that i did things i don't like.
I'm not saying i'm hating my study but i don't seem to be learning properly and fully so that i can maximise my knowledge when i go for intern next year.
Well heck i'm stupid for all i know because i can't seem to learn well.

Up to this point, i really envy those people who have a room to themselves. They can cry or without feeling embarassed when your siblings look at you thinking: Why is my sister crying?
Now i have to pretend i'm yawning and rubbing my eyes when in actual fact i rubbing away my tears.

Ahh heck. This is getting too riddiculus. I'm spending far too much time writing this entry.
Things seem better if you just go sleep and never wake up the next day.